Dealing with Rejection....again.

Why does raising children have to be so damn hard? Victoria had another tough audition last night and was pretty upset when she came home. It broke my heart because when she left the house in the morning, she was excited and confident, not nervous like she had been the last five unsuccessful auditions.

When my kids are upset or sad, I am too. I feel helpless and frustrated because, sometimes, I just don't know what to say. I did all the text book things. I validated her feelings, telling her it was okay to feel sad; I allowed her to express her emotions, by encouraging her to talk about it; I kept open the lines of communication, engaging her in a conversation to illicit some of the emotions she was going through, so why then, was it only getting worse?

I knew the cause of her sadness went much deeper than this one audition. It was scars from so many other failed attempts, the knowledge that this was her last shot at making this singing and dancing group as a Senior next year, the image of all of the fun opportunities that she will miss and what would have been a wonderful experience for her to take with her to college next year. How do you fix all that?

There won't be any brainstorming to help her come up with a strategy for next year, to empower her and take away some of her helplessness away, because there won't be a next year.

So, I try to be supportive, although I am not very good at it right now, because I am mad. I am mad that she may not be picked AGAIN, I am mad that she is good enough to be one of the lead acts in her high school play where she sang and danced solos, but not good enough to be in "his" group, I am mad that he is not compassionate with the teenagers who he knows have talent, but freak out during auditions, I am mad that he year after year encourages her to try out, only to not pick her. And, I am mad because, she is my baby and she is hurt and when she hurts, I hurt.

In the last few years, I have learned, painstaking, that most of my teenager's problems can't easily be changed or solved, so I continue to let them know that I am here for them, and that I love and support them, while recognizing that sometimes, children just have to feel sad and cope with their own emotions before they can move on.....as long as it doesn't take too long.

Stop Whining about Wine

Have you ever found yourself in a restaurant saying, "How the heck do you pronounce that and what do I drink it with?”

Ah! First thing, don’t ever run away from something you can’t pronounce. You'll be missing out on a delightful experience. If you something you'd like to try on the wine list, just point to it and show the waiter, saying, “I’ll try this.” He or she will probably be happy he doesn’t have to pronounce it, too! If he’s a sommelier (wine server in upscale restaurants), he’ll say, “Certainly, the VEE OWN YAY, excellent choice, sir!” Don’t be put off by the language or the pretensions of some people in the wine world. You’ll miss fine experiences if you do!

So, no more whining about not knowing your wine. If you decide you like something - find out more about it. A great place to start is at wineloverspage.com . Not only do they tell you about the wine, but they also tell you how to pronounce it. Love it!

Just Another Prom Dilemma!

I am starting to stress out and there are still two more months before Victoria's prom. She found a prom dress already, or should I say, she fell in love with a prom dress already. You're thinking I should be thrilled, right? Wrong. Well, I would normally be thrilled, as it was in the first shop we stopped in. Did I mention, to get to our "first" shop, we drove through three other towns on a cold, rainy night only to find three dark store fronts - ending up at a bridal shop 5 mins from our house. Oh. Sorry. I digress.

Well, she found this very pretty dress rather quickly. "Done, already?" I thought. "Wow! The first night?" I should have been thrilled, right? After all, it was a record breaking decision for a kid that can't decide on Crunch Berries or Peanut Butter Captain Crunch in the morning. The only problem was, that they didn't have her size, so it would have to be ordered and the dress was checking out at a whapping $269 before alterations and taxes! Gulp!

Having just survived a very difficult financial two year stint, I was not about to go back into hock for a prom dress. So we, well I, decided that would could find the same dress online, cheaper. I mean no disrespect towards our teen's big day. As I said in an earlier post, it's a rite of passage, a ritual that prefigures the selection of the wedding dress, but my own wedding dress didn't cost this much! Granted that was a "few" years ago.

Anyway, my dilemma. We found the dress online, but the ONLY place we were able to find it was on a foreign wholesale website. I am not even really sure what country it is from. Anyway, on the site, the dress sells at wholesale for $136. The catch is that they make the dress after you order it and guarantee that it will be at least a 90% look-a-like.

The site appears to be a lot like our Amazon site here in the US. It has the same look, sells similar items, but at wholesale prices. It has many positive reviews and comments. I am however, concerned about the risk. Mainly the risk that the dress will not be a 90% look-a-like and she will not wear it.

Has anyone ever heard of or shopped on DHGate.com? If so, please let me know your thoughts, and fast. The dress takes 20-days to make and 7-10 days to ship, so we really need to get going.

Would you take the risk or spend the money at the local shop? At this point, there are no other options. Well, there are options for me, but not for you. You only get to vote on the risk or the local shop.

I'd post the picture of the dress, but Victoria would kill me, so you'll have to wait.

Purging this Spring

How often do you purge your closet? I go through my closet twice a year and always manage to find items that I do not wear, have not worn, and will never wear again. It is amazing since I feel like I never purchase anything new.

If you have a dysfunctional closet and can't ever find anything to wear, you are not alone. On the average people wear only 20% of the clothes they own. Follow a few tips and be on your way to your first step in your Spring cleaning.

Start by pulling everything out. Yes, everything. This is one of the most important step when reorganizing anything. Then separate everything into three different piles:

Keep: You wear it nearly everyday. It fits. It's timeless. (If you're being honest with yourself, this will be roughly only 20% of your closet's contents.

Dump: Anything that is stained, smelly, ripped or stretched-out. You won't clean it. You won't repair it. You will never wear it, and neither will anyone else. Toss it.

Donate: Anything that you haven't worn in a year, is a tired trend or doesn't fit. If you're not sure if it fits or not, try it on. Be honest with yourself. If you're a size 10 and it's a size 6, it's gone.
When you're done sorting, go through your "keep" pile again. Does any of this need to go in the "dump" or "donate" piles? Remember that it's just stuff. You don't need it if you don't use it.
Throw out your "dump" pile, and consider doing one of the following with your "donate" pile:

Sell it: Why not try and make some extra money with those clothes you no longer want, but are still in good condition and in style? Sell your items on eBay or at your local consignment shop.

Donate to Charity: Drop them off at Goodwill, Salvation Army or a local thrift shop.

Host a Clothes Swap: Get new clothes that you'll actually wear for free. Invite your other purge-happy friends over for a clothes swap. Everyone who brings a pile of clothes gets to take from everyone else's stash.

For those items that don't fit into the above categories and will be going back into your closet. Remember, the 20%? Here are a few more tips to keep your closet organized until your next purge:

Place items used most frequently at eye level.

Break alike items down into baskets.

Hang all like clothes together, i.e., skirts in one area, blouses in another.

Put shoes in boxes that are labeled or a rack where they can be easily viewed. Plastic clear bins work best because they allow you to see through.

Feeling empowered? Let's Spring into the spirit with a closet purge.

It's Prom Season

In the life of every high school girl are a few big moments, and one of those biggest moments is the prom. As prom season approaches, picking out the perfect dress for the most important school dance of the year is the high school equivalent of preparing to walk the red carpet at the Oscars. It's a rite of passage, a ritual that prefigures the selection of the wedding dress.

The Prom started in the 1920’s in the US and is the classic American rite of passage for students from all walks of life. One of the functions of the prom, planned from almost the very start, was to bring together people from all financial standings and heritage.

The word “prom” comes from the French word promenade, which means walk or stroll. In the South, early in the twentieth century, it was considered inappropriate to dance with men that you were not married to, so the girls would take short, chaperoned promenades around the block with their dates.

We all know today's Proms are different. There are so many logistics ~ limos need to be booked, tuxes rented, and plans finalized. All of these things have to go through one source I told my daughter - me. Oh yeah and your Dad.

It’s a magical time of year. Magical for teens, perhaps, but mystifying for Prom moms. My heart goes out to all of you who, like me, who will struggle with their teens about this important rites-of-passage when, in their minds, all rules are up for debate and renegotiation. Remember Moms...Hold your ground!

So many decisions to make. Makeup, shoes, hairstyle, nails, what clutch, the right bra, the date's boutonniere, dinner beforehand, where to hang out afterwards? It all had to be perfect, this is my only prom she told me.

The whole prom season thing makes me a little reflective. I remember my junior and senior proms like they were yesterday, or maybe last week.... My boyfriend and I had an amazing time and it was a great way to end those last years of my high school experience and I wanted to her to have the same.

But, gosh, have things changed since I was a teen getting ready for prom season. For one thing, prom night begins a lot earlier, because you have to get your one of a kind dress early before all the good ones are gone! I think I got mine the week before. And unlike my prom night when the only audience around to witness my big night were my parents and a bunch of neighborhood kids, now there are pre-adult parties with cocktails and hors d'œuvre - for the adults that is.

And what’s this I hear about renting two limos? I don't care if others are renting buses, condos and hotel rooms for after prom partying and sleepovers for their prom night teens and their friends? WHAT!? Certainly, my generation of prom goers tried staying out all night, or tried to stay out as late as possible without being grounded when you arrived home. But parents renting a place for an after party where those who want can crash and sleep over? Wow!

I know some will say that it makes sense because it keeps drunk teens from getting behind steering wheels. But hotels? Really? Whatever happened to "just girl" sleepovers?

So, I kept my comments to myself, because for everything there is a season. A time to listen, a time to teach and a time to pray that what you’ve taught her for the last 16 years will be heard.

Inhaling Chocolate - very sweet!

Are you a chocoholic? Do you "live and breathe" chocolate? Well, now it is possible to literally inhale chocolate.

I’ll admit it upfront. I’m a straight up, hard core chocoholic. I can't resist the possiblity of chocolate around 3pm, while sitting at my desk. Although my many attempted and failed diets don't allow this afternoon treat, I may have just found that needle in the haystack.

David Edwards, a Harvard professor and Illinois Institute of Technology graduate, is known in the medical field for his work on inhalable insulin and a potential inhalable TB vaccination.
Now, he's applied that same science to chocolate. He has created a mini-inhaler, called Le Whif, that coats the user's mouth with chocolate particles that are 80 to 300 microns—small enough to shoot out the inhaler, but too big to enter the lungs (and cause choking).

The small gadget carries about (I have read 4 - 8 puffs) for around $2.-$3, and leaves the customer with the taste of chocolate, but hardly any of the calories. Each puff has less than one calorie!

The inhaler can be carries in your pocket and is convenient enough, so that you get the taste of chocolate anytime you want. Not to mention, your hands never get dirty. Edwards said that he has no intentions of stopping at chocolate. He is considering other flavors, like spices, soups, and maybe even vegetables or meats.

For me, its not about enjoying the chocolate bar. I don't. It's gone in less than a minute after it is unleashed. It's about the taste and this seems like the long awaited solution. I most likely will not be a fan of, nor try the veggies and meat spray, I mean, what would be the point if it doesn't deliver the nutritional value. But, the chocolate? Well, that has no nutritional value either way.

I will be on the look out for my tiny little inhaler this weekend!

Going Bananas is an understatement

I was just reading about (2 years too late) a fad weight loss scheme called the Morning Banana Diet (MBD), which started in Japan and swept across the country like a tsunami. It was so popular there that bananas were on back order.

Japan is known for its fad diets and like all other fad diets this one will likely lead to some weight loss in the short run but will fail in the long run, which is why they are always replaced by the next crazy idea. Of course they have rules. The weirder and more outrageous, the better. Throw in a little "scientific theory" for motivation and you have yourself a fad diet.

Every diet has rules. If a diet works for you, it’s most likely because the rules have made you eat less food. Diet usually do this by making eating a little harder or less convenient, through restricting when and what you eat.

The Morning Banana Diet regimen was designed to boost your metabolism allowing you to eat as many bananas at room temperature as you want, water for breakfast, anything you'd like for lunch, a 3 p.m. snack and dinner. There are however, no nightly desserts and dinner has to be eaten by 8 p.m. and oh yes, in bed before midnight.

The Morning Banana Diet is the brainchild of Sumiko Watanabe who designed it to increase her husbands metabolism, allowing him to lose 37 pounds. You have got to check out their web site! It's a riot.

Does it work? Japanese opera singer Kumiko Mori says it does. She was the one who made the announcement on a TV show claiming that she'd lost 15 pounds using the Morning Banana Diet, also contributing to the banana shortage. I am not sure those two instances count as proof of its effectiveness, but this diet certainly gets points for craziness.